Oh, Hello There

Dear Megan,

From the moment I met you, I felt something for you. Before I even knew you, I felt that there would be something between us.

I felt ill the entire day leading up to meeting you in person for the first time. I was full of jitters, nervous emotions, and joy. I remember that day as if it was yesterday…

I had been anticipating meeting you for quite awhile after your friend told me about you. She had nothing but great things to say, and I was intrigued. Finally the day quickly approached that we were to meet and go out for the first time.

When you finally arrived at my friends house and I heard to doorbell ring, my heart sunk and I went into a nervous frenzy. I was asking so many questions because I was both nervous and excited to meet you. I didn’t know what to do, so I ran into the bathroom to splash some water on my face and remind myself that this was real. I was going to meet you and I had nothing to worry about.

I knew that I would have to come out and meet you so I took a deep breath, walked out the door, and there you were. There was this beautiful young lady standing right there in front of me. You had your back to my direction, so eye contact wasn’t instant. I was so nervous to see you turn around and face me, but when you did, I was struck with awe. You were even more beautiful than your photos depicted, and this made it even harder on me.

The first half of the date was fun, but I knew it wasn’t going smoothly because of my nerves. My only hope was that I wasn’t completely ruining everything because, I was into you. I was into what I knew about you, I was into your looks, I was into your soft and sweet voice, I was into getting to know more about you.

When we arrived back at my friends so you could leave and get to your game, I was both happy that I got to finally spend time with you, and sad that time was being cut short. I longed for more time with you. When I walked with you out to the car, I didn’t want the moment to end. I was instantly hooked on you.

There you stood in my friends driveway smiling at me. That was the moment I knew. Something sparked inside of me and that was the moment I felt it. Call it what you will, but at that moment I felt something with you that I have never felt for anyone before. When you asked me to come to your game, I felt upmost joy and could not resist coming to see and support you.

I remember being at your game and during your break you thanked me for coming, but the only thing that crossed my mind was thank you for inviting me. After the game, I wanted more time with you and fate provided just that. The next few hours spent getting to know you a little better while, just talking amongst friends was better than what I could have expected.

As the night was coming to a close, I was so nervous to kiss you. I was nervous that you didn’t feel what I felt, and may perhaps never want anything to do with me again. It was hard to muster up the courage, but finally I did. It was at that moment our lips connected that my interest for you deepened. It was that first kiss that I will never forget.

Over the next few months I spent time getting to know you and trying to figure out all of these new feelings. I had been in relationships in the past, some pretty serious, however I never felt something like this with anyone else. On February 10, 2016, we finally took the step into something serious. That was the best choice I have ever made.

The past few months have been some of the happiest of my entire life. I feel something with you that I have never felt, and it is perhaps the greatest feeling that has ever crossed me. I feel it each and every single day and it only grows stronger.

Last night I felt that I put everything in jeopardy because of foolish curiosity and concern. I was wrong because I was concerned and upset. That does not excuse my actions, however in some ways I am glad that it happened. I am glad because it made me realize what is most important to me, and help me finally understand what it is I have been feeling all along.

I wanted last night to be perfect, because I had the perfect evening planned. I was angry, upset, and devastated that everything I had planned came crashing down upon us. I wanted to express to you my deepest thoughts and emotions, however I simply managed to destroy everything I had worked so hard to build. It wasn’t fair to me, and it wasn’t fair to you. The struggle I faced last night as you left, was possibly one of the hardest struggles and eye opening moments I have ever faced.

Megan, you see, there is something I have wanted to tell you for awhile now. Something I have feared to share with you due to a world of concerns. Concerns that you won’t feel the same way. Concerns that I might scare you away. Concerns that putting myself out there and objectifying myself vulnerability may break me once again. I cannot deny the feelings I have for you any longer. If fate really wants this to be, then you will understand what I am about to say. My hope is that your feelings will too match my own.

I often spent many nights wondering what this strange feeling was I have for you. I considered just plain joy, I considered content, and I considered happiness. The truth is, I have known all along what it has been and that feeling I have been experiencing for you is true.

Megan, my feelings for you are strong, and that scares the hell out of me. I have become attached to you, happy with you, and I cannot consider any other option. I want to have a future with you, as I cannot see one without you in it. Things may not have went according to plan, however now is the time to be true, I am in love with you.