For as long as I can remember my mind has been clouded. Too many thoughts working their way around like a blizzard in my head. It was all I could do to keep pushing forward in a hope to find civilization. To find sanity.
Today my mind is clear. I feel as if I have won the battle, but it feels so bittersweet. Although I don’t have flurries of thoughts compacting my mind, I also have little to no thoughts at all. It is quiet, and it is a quiet am not used to. I am relieved yes, but also weary.
I am now searching for all of the words that will make a difference. The correct choice of words that will not lead my astray. I ask myself, am I ever really lead astray? Perhaps I am always on the proper course, rather I know it or rather I like. I do not believe in chance. I do not believe in coincidence, but I believe that everything can be determined through connection.
There are countless odds and favors which do not put me where I am right now, however here I am. Any one choice or change made along the way and I would be in an entirely new place. So now I ask myself, why am I here? What is the purpose? Where am I going? Where will I go?